Blind in the Friendly Skies

When two legally blind kids are left alone in an international airport with a train that looks a lot like a ride at Disney World, will they make their flight, or wander around Atlanta International surviving on Cinnabon?

No, no, it's not a story I made up, it's my life.

My younger brother and sister were both born with Peter's Anomaly Plus Syndrome. It's so rare that my brother was one of the first in the world to be diagnosed with it. People with Peter's Anomaly are born blind, without pupils. There are a host of other problems that often go along with it including dwarfism, hearing problems, and speech problems. As babies, my bro and sis's doctors were able to figure out a way to give them pupils, and eyesight; they now have limited vision, though they're legally blind. When their eyesight started getting worse because of the dry Utah weather, their doctors said they had to move to humid Florida.

They've been in Florida for two years now, but because Peter's Anomaly Plus is so rare, the only doctor who can treat them is the doctor who pioneered the sight saving surgeries for them...and he's in Utah. What this means is that two or three times a year, my mostly blind bro and sis have to get on a plane and fly all the way across the country on their own. My family learned a long time ago that having my bro and sis around would be the catalyst for many interesting situations, but we were never, NEVER I tell you, prepared for the adventure that is Delta's round-trip airline flight with connections.

The good people at Delta have a handy feature that allows me, the reservation maker, to note on the ticket that the person flying is visually impaired. Great! I thought, as I clicked the "Visually Impaired" button. Someone will help my bro and sis get to the plane so they don't accidentally wind up in a bathroom stall waiting for the toilet to take off. Unfortunately, the visually impaired check box comes with a catch...you have to ride in a wheelchair in order for a Delta representative to help you...something my bro and sis--who are perfectly capable of walking--kind of resent.

When presented with the option of wheelchair or no help at all, they took no help and wandered around the airport like a modern-day Moses, trying to find the way to their gate, which they couldn't see because the gate signs were too small for them to read. After searching forever (okay, it was really only an hour but felt like more to me, their angst ridden sister who was awaiting a text that they were safely on the plane) they found their gate and the nice flight attendants helped them to their seats--apparently wheelchairs aren't required for seat assistance.

One hurdle down, one iceberg-sized hurdle to go...the connection in Atlanta (only one of the biggest airports in the U.S.). Before Delta decided to marry Northwest and adopt a fleet of smaller airline babies, getting my bro and sis on their connection wasn't nearly as difficult because their connecting flight was usually in the same terminal as the flight they just deplaned. No more my friends.

After asking for help finding their connecting flight, they were pointed down a hall and told to take the escalators and turn left, which they did, and it took them to a train. Keep in mind that my bro and sis grew up in Utah. The only trains my bro and sis have experience with were once fueled by coal.

So my bro and sis shrug as they're pushed on the train and then take a moment to wonder if they're on their way to Hogwarts. Bro is a little concerned when he can't find Harry Potter and starts looking around for help when he spots them! No, not Hermione and Harry, it's even better! An airline employee pushing a guy in a wheelchair. Bro grabs my sis, a plan clear in his mind. Obviously that guy wasn't upset about being hauled around in a wheelchair and since he's in a wheelchair, he's probably going to the same place as them! Finding their gate is as simple as following wheelchair guy!

The train stops, flight attendant and wheelchair guy get off, and bro and sis follow like tiny stalkers, though I imagine most stalkers have better sight and can keep a longer distance. By some miracle, wheelchair guy happens to be in the same terminal as bro and sis, and not only the same terminal, but on the same flight!!! That's right, out of all the flights in Atlanta, the guy my bro and sis followed to find their flight was actually on their flight. If that's not evidence of guardian angels, or at least fairies, I'm not sure what is.

Of course, I didn't get this whole story until by some miracle, they managed to land in Salt Lake.

*shakes head*

I can't wait to see what happens next week when they have to fly back. At least my life is never boring.

Review: The Broken Lake by Shelena Shorts

From the Publisher

In the aftermath of Sophie's ordeal, Weston will make some uncharacteristic decisions to distance himself from the past in an attempt to change the fu...more In the aftermath of Sophie's ordeal, Weston will make some uncharacteristic decisions to distance himself from the past in an attempt to change the future.

But, while venturing into the improbable, the present sneaks up in a chilling way that will lead to Wes' unexpected submission. Suddenly, Sophie will find herself watching as both his immortal secret and his own existence are threatened.

Continuously intriguing, The Broken Lake takes readers to a place where eternal bonds confront a division that is sure to leave everyone wondering whom they can trust.

My Review

5 out of 5 stars!

I'm usually wary of second books in a series, but I liked The Broken Lake almost as much as The Pace. The Broken Lake begins where The Pace left off and Wes is quickly forced to confront the aftermath of Sophie's abduction and Andy's death (which took place at the end of The Pace). Because of Andy's death, the research being done at Wes's laboratories is now putting Wes in the public eye, which is the last thing Wes or Sophie want. Too much attention could be a threat to Wes and the secrets he hides.

Because of the media attention and the history of Sophie's lifespan, Wes and Sophie take advantage of every moment they have together. And The Broken Lake spends a lot of time exploring Wes and Sophie's relationship. I enjoyed learning more about the two characters, and bits and pieces about their past. It was also nice to see their relationship grow as they tried to change what seems like an inevitable future. This book also gives an interesting explanation for why Sophie's lifespan is so short and I'm curious to see where that aspect of the story goes in future books. This book is definitely focused on the love story as opposed to Wes and Sophie's history and the science behind it, but at its heart, I feel like love is what The Pace Series is all about.

My one complaint is that The Broken Lake ends in a cliffhanger, which always leaves me feeling like I didn't get the whole story. Overall though, I really enjoyed the book and was happy to have another chance to live in Wes and Sophie's world. I'm excited for the third book in the series, The Iron Quill.

Thanks so much to Michelle at Windowpanes Memoirs Book Tours for including me in The Broken Lake ARC tour.

Slush Pile Hell

I've been super busy revising Branson Falls. The most important thing I've learned from Eternal Starling, and my successful author friends, is that you must revise, revise, revise and when you think you're done revising, do it again. I feel so good about Branson Falls and want to make sure it's the best it can be before I start to query.

But, that's not to say I don't need a break sometimes and this link on an agent's Twitter account today made me giggle. So for your enjoyment, check out slush pile hell.

http://slushpilehell.tumblr.com/

Your Mission Is...

I know, you were expecting me to explain your mission right away, don't worry, I'll get to that.

I just started another round of revisions on Branson Falls. I'm almost to the point where I use the FIND feature in Word to locate all the words in my manuscript that end with "ly." Why in the world would I take the time to do that you ask? Because as Stephen King says, "The road to hell is paved with adverbs," and most words that end in "ly" are adverbs.

*Cue the "Mission Impossible" theme music now*

When I get to the point that I feel a manuscript is close to querying, I always go through it to see if the adverbs I've used add to the sentence and if they don't, I try to get rid of them. There's no way to take all of the adverbs out of a manuscript, and they're not all bad. The adverbs I'm talking about are the ones that stick out like a sore thumb...the ones that make a reader want to scream because the constant use of adverbs in place of descriptions makes it hard for the reader to connect to the story. The ones I notice the most when I read are adverbs used as part of dialogue tags.

I'm not sure why, but adverb overload seems to be common in the YA genre. Before Amazing Ashley got her red pen out to edit Eternal Starling, I had a lot of lines of dialogue ending with things like, 'she said, obviously,' and 'he said, frantically.' For me, the adverb dialogue tags were a result of my inexperience as a novelist and I was able to learn from that mistake and improve my writing skills.

Ashley gave me some good advice for how to fix the problem in later drafts and other WIPs. She told me I need to write how a character's emotions are reflected in their actions and show how the character is feeling instead of telling it. The show, don't tell line is one I've heard a lot, but no one has ever been able to explain to me as well as Ashley did when she suggested I watch the TV show "Lie To Me." I couldn't believe how much it helped to watch the show and see how facial expressions and body language were analyzed to figure out how a person was feeling. Now I'm a lot better at descriptions and as I write, I can see how the character's body is reacting in my mind. Here's an example...

Instead of saying:

"Who do you think you are?" she asked, angrily."

I think of the character and envision how they would really react in the situation, then I try to write that.

She folded her arms across her chest, her fingers digging into her skin like she was trying to hold back a punch. The muscles in her shoulders tensed as she pulled her brows into a dark glare and asked, "Who do you think you are?"

See the difference? Unlike the vague first example, the second example offers a physical description to explain how the character is feeling instead of just telling the reader the character is angry. You can go into a lot more detail than I did but to me, the second example is much more interesting and gives the reader a better idea of the character, her actions, and her feelings. The detail in the second example creates an image in the mind of the reader, and helps them identify with the character. It also makes the character more believable.

So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go through your manuscript and get rid of the adverbs that aren't needed.

Speaking of characters...I better get back to my revisions. Drop me a line in the comments and tell me what you think about adverbs. :)

Sex and the City 2

 When the first Sex and the City movie came out, I forced my husband to come with me to see it (this was my version of punishment for him wanting a BIG wedding and making me plan the whole blasted thing with no help). This time he hadn't done anything worthy of making him sit through a 2 1/2 hour chick-flick, so I went to Sex and the City 2 with some girlfriends instead. Let me first say that Liza Minnelli dancing and singing to Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies" was worth the ticket price all by itself. The movie had a lot of funny moments and I enjoyed the interaction between Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. The reappearance of Carrie's Dior newspaper dress made me fall in love with the dress, and show, all over again. I liked the woman-empowering theme of the movie and despite having to suspend belief a bit (especially about some of the situations in Abu Dhabi), the movie was a lot of fun and perfect for a girls night out. However, as my husband and several other people pointed out, the movie got horrible reviews. And I have to say, the critics had some good points. The dialogue was silly in spots and there was no real plot to speak of. I definitely see the complaint that the movie seemed to focus on fashion and shoes (but when hasn't Sex and the City been about those things). Usually bad dialogue and lack of a plot turn me off regardless of the medium (TV, movies, books)--but Sex and the City is different. I've been trying to figure out why that's the case and I think it's because I'm much more forgiving of characters I've already spent time getting to know and falling in love with. I think the same is true for anything in a series, whether it's a TV show, movie, or a book. I don't always like every book in a series, but just because I think some parts of a story fall through the cracks, it doesn't mean I want to give up on the characters. I've already developed a love for them and committed my time to becoming a part of their world. I want to know what's going to happen to them and continue watching them grow...even if there are stumbles along the way. I'm sure another Sex and the City movie will come out and regardless of whether critics think it's good or bad, I'll be there on opening night because I love the characters, the stories, and I enjoy seeing what will happen to them next...even if they do end up on a camel in the middle of the Arabian desert wearing $500 shoes.

Preface / Prologue Part 2

Now that you know whether you have a preface or a prologue, you have to decide if you really need it.

If you read ANY agent blogs or follow agents on Twitter, you will see that a good majority of them HATE prologues and prefaces. A lot of them even say it turns them off of the manuscript completely. Many of the agents I follow say they can't gauge your writing, your voice, or the tone of the book based on a preface or prologue. Also, think about one of the cardinal rules of writing. You never dump backstory into your first chapters. You always want to craft the backstory into the plot throughout the book. But, by using a preface or a prologue, you're essentially dumping backstory on the agent in the first few pages.

My personal opinion is that I don't mind prologues, but I despise prefaces. A prologue serves a purpose for the story. You need the information from the prologue to understand the rest of the book. But a preface is just a retelling of something (usually part of the climax) that happens later in the story. I've had so many authors tell me they included a preface because they felt like they wouldn't be able to pull a reader in with their first chapter. If you can't grab a reader with the first few pages of your first chapter, you're certainly not going to be able to get an agent's attention. I've even read that some agents completely disregard prologues/prefaces sent to them. Agents are trying to get a feel for your writing style, voice, and the plot. They can't do that from a prologue/preface. If you're worried that your first chapter, or even your first few paragraphs won't keep a reader's attention, you need to rewrite.

Now I know you're thinking that if prologues and prefaces are so unpopular with agents, why do so many books have them? I've wondered that myself and this is my theory...I think a lot of editors like what a prologue or preface can do for a book. Most people buying a book like to scan the first few pages of the book before they buy it. If there's something interesting in those first few pages, a reader is much more likely to buy the book so they can find out what happens. My day job is in marketing/advertising/PR and from a marketing perspective, the preface prologue strategy makes a lot of sense. I’m sure there are other reasons as well--like maybe to help the audience understand an important part of the book or something intense or emotional the character is going through--but like I said, from a marketing perspective, it’s a very good idea. So while agents may not like prologues and prefaces, it's smart marketing on the side of the editor and publishing house.

So where does this leave you? Well, if you already have a prologue or preface, take a serious, unbiased look at it and ask yourself if it's really important enough to your book to risk the possibility of turning an agent off by sending it with your query. If you choose not to include your preface or prologue, it doesn't mean you have to give it up. Keep it around because an editor might want it someday. :)

Is it a Preface or a Prologue??? Part 1

Whew!!! I finished my Branson Falls revisions!!! *Happy Dance*

I started this post about prologues and prefaces a while ago and as I've been working on it, it just keeps getting longer. I decided to split it into two posts, so for the first, I offer you a definition.

Prologues and prefaces seem to be all the rage lately--especially in YA books. Since Eternal Starling was YA, I seriously debated whether I should put one in. I mean, lots of other YA writers were doing it, should I do it too? The problem is that I'm not a preface or prologue fan. And I found out most agents aren't preface or prologue fans either (more on that in post #2). I had to decide what I wanted to do with Eternal Starling, but first, I needed to find out what the difference between a preface and prologue actually was!

There are SO many conflicting ideas out there about this--everywhere from mywriterscircle.com to absolutewrite.com. I finally found an answer that made sense to me and then found the same answer over and over again as I researched. Though, like I said, the opinions are conflicting, so feel free to do your own research and decide for yourself. You can also check this link from writersandeditors.com for a more detailed prologue and preface definition summary.

If you're confused like I was, read on for a definition and example.

A prologue is used to give the reader critical information that happens before the story starts. The reader will need that information later to understand what's happening in the book. A good example of this is the prologue in Hush, Hush, by Becca Fitzpatrick. The prologue happens in a completely different century than when the book takes place, but the information in the prologue is important to the plot of the book.

A preface is a retelling of something that happens later in the book and is often used as a way to hook a reader. A good example of this is the preface for Twilight. A lot of YA books use this tool as a way to get the audience immediately interested in the book and make them want to keep reading.

Now you know the difference, you can check your own preface or prologue and figure out what it actually is! In the next few days I'll post my take on why so many agents seem to hate prefaces and prologues, but editors seem to love them.